Thoughts Of An Orphan

I’m haunted by memories of lost loved ones

I’m trapped by my existence and guilt weighing tons

I have depression and let me say it’s not fun
My thoughts like a demon I can never outrun
The fear of being orphaned
Being alone and forgotten

I pretend I’m okay, but like glass, I shatter
I hold in anxiety and stress, but at this point does it even matter
My friends think I’m confident
But my mirror is power
my ego and heart like an easily breakable tower

I have a fear of chewing, which basically sounds like a myth
I have skin disease that I can never hide

I have a set of accustomed rules I can never seem to abide
I have insomnia and sleep is like a foreigner
feels like my heart is always broken, like a sentimental mourner

I have no father to turn too
I have no shoulder to cry on when I feel blue
I carry the death pin on my back
the fear of trauma like it’s own personal heart attack

I still carry scars from being bullied
Trying to be strong and complete good deeds
but each day I watch myself struggle

And watch body fade